Hiraeth (pronounced [hiraɪ̯θ])

   TITLE: Chasing Cars

   AUTHOR: kerk hiraeth

   LENGTH: 200

   FANDOM: GL's / Kdramas

   CHARACTERS/'SHIP: OC's (there are three)

   A/N: This idea is a variation on something I've been writing, and re-writing, in my head for well over two years. Sometimes they are Thai; sometimes Filipina; sometimes Korean. This will also, hopefully become something else one day. Even the title changed several times as I have been trying to write this version. The characters have names. I do not know them yet, and may never do so. All three have pretty full back stories; all in my head ~ some of which is finally down on paper, metaphorically speaking.

          This was written for Halfamoon; intended for 2025 Day 1 prompt; Fashion it actually feels, now that I have this as finished as I feel it can be, more fitting for lasy year's Day 1 prompt Black/White, but particularly, Shades of Grey. 

ADDENDUM: I came to the conclusion this was a good fit for Halfamoon, but it will go up there for Day 14 prompt, First Loves.  

     As with a mirror crack'd my memories are dis... jointed.

   She was wearing a younger boys shorts, and a soccer jersey; at least one size too big.

   For him.

   She was at least a head shorter than me; more than a head taller than me the last time we were together at her eighteenth birthday party.

   She was dressed in red then too; Calvin Klein boxers I'd bought her.

   But I can't remember her.

   What she sees is a ghost.

   I ran.

   She stayed and fought.

   I don't know the woman she became.

   And I do not remember the girl she loved.

   That ghost in her head.

   That girl died the night she got on her knees for the price of a bowl of soup.

   I see the love we had in the photographs, but I don't remember her.

   I don't know her.

   Do you imagine I want her to know what I became.

   After twenty years I am not that girl; not even a woman really.

   I am what I became that night.

   Can you hold her?

   If you do nothing else; hold her the way I did once, the way she...

   The way I wish I could.

     I fall before you,

     Here I am,

     I have nothing left

     Though I've tried to forget,

     You're all that I am,

     Take me home,

     I'm through fighting it,

     Broken,

     Lifeless,

     I give up,

     You're my only strength,

     Without you,

     I can't go on,

     Anymore,

     Ever again. 

   (lyrics from October by Evanescence)