Hiraeth (pronounced [hiraɪ̯θ])

    AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

    FANDOM: Babylon 5 (post-series);

    LENGTH: 200;

    CHARACTER(s): Susan Ivanova; OC (Karen Karen); Michael Garibaldi (mention of);

    SHIP(s): Ivanova/OC; Talia Winters/Susan Ivanova (by implication from canon);

    SUMMARY: You never forget your first true love.

    A/N: The fic posted here is the final version of one I have been working on, in one way or another for something like seven years; about the time I finally watched all the episodes of Babylon 5.

            The first versions were all about a drabble's length, but not one really worked. A character kept on creeping in and spoiling them. Once I listened to that insistence she be a part of this story I eventually reached the first version close to what you see here. From there it still took a seemingly interminable amount of months, to figure out what was wrong with the ending (see the end notes for how that resolved itself).

           After that my mental health problems almost finished any prospect of me writing again.

          However, now she is finally ready to fly.

      No sooner had Fleet Capt. Susan Andreievna Ivanova sat down to her long delayed breakfast than the message arrived.

   Lt. Cmdr Karen Karen gently pressed her; as she was wont to say, ass back down; then kissed her lover with uncharacteristic forcefulness. Smiling at Ivanova's; equally uncharacteristic, confusion she explained, “I wanted to make sure you came back, “ pressing; as she did so, a folded piece of paper into her superior's palm.

   Standing, Ivanova's exec added; with an almost Russian air of fatalism, “Our assigned patrols are completed; course is set. We can have you at Earth-Mars in nine days... assuming you don't want to stop over at your old command.”

   Turning from studying Karen's departing... back; she was Captain of this vessel when Ivanova's rank took her off-ship, she pointedly studied the commissary.

   Said commissary; full of crew frozen amidst meal and conversation, interrupted by the unusually public affection between the two senior officers aboard ship, suddenly became animated with noisy banging; chatter and remembered elsewheres to be.

   Satisfied, Ivanova read the message; dated almost a month previous. Michael Garibaldi's communication explained her... Karen's sudden, and unprofessional, lack of decorum.

   Bei mir bistu schein

   He had found Talia.

   kerk hiraeth

    Went looking for russian nomenclature as I was misremembering Ivanova as having a fuller name, which led me here http://faculty.virginia.edu/herman/tolstoy/namingconventions.htm and since her father was named Andrei and -evna scans better that gave me her patronymic.

    Her exec/partner/lover's name is an anglicised, and here I had to cut the references to Fed Standard English version of what her name would be in actuality. Her first name is common enough across several cultures; but her last name would be Kayin, in reference to her ancestry from the south-east of what we call Burna, or Myanmar (both are correct; Myanmar being apparently a more formal version of Burma; not the replacement).

    The title ( yiddish; Ikh gefunen ir / english; I have found her) yiddish in hebrew script; איך געפונען איר ); which made up the gist of the original ending, eventually got replaced by the title of the original yiddish version of a song I knew principally from versions by The Andrews Sisters which, along with several other versions, would just not let me go.

    If you're unfamiliar with Babylon 5; these links will give you a feeling for the characters mentioned; except for my original character of course. I already have ideas for further scenes/stories in my head, but I do feel the need to get a little deeper into her possible cultural history

https://babylon5.fandom.com/wiki/Susan_Ivanova 

https://babylon5.fandom.com/wiki/Talia_Winters 

https://babylon5.fandom.com/wiki/Michael_Garibaldi 

TITLE: Love is patient; Love is kind

AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

FANDOM: Degrassi Next Class (post-series);

LENGTH: 400;

RATING: G;

CHARACTER(s) Rasha Zuabi; Zoë Rivas;

'SHIP(s): Zoë Rivas/Rasha Zuabi;

SUMMARY: Where do you find the words that can explain to your still conservatively liberal Muslim mother that the woman their daughter will marry is the right one for their child, and are they really okay with who you are now?

A/N: Inspired by Mary Lambert's beautiful song, 'She Keeps Me Warm', this is set several years in our future; Next Class sadly seeming likely to have concluded the Degrassi saga for the foreseeable future; due to Netflix' corporate callousness, with S4.

This is told entirely from Rasha's pov; intention being to write a contiguous story from Zoë's pov. Rasha arrived at Degrassi as a refugee from the conflict(s) in Syria at the start of S3; whilst Zoë arrived there at the start of Degrassi: Next Generation's S12 (TNG had far longer seasons which covered similar periods of time; as far as I can tell, as two of NC's ten episode seasons).

Zoë came out as lesbian in the S2 finale of NC; though was still in the process, publically, when Rasha arrives at Degrassi. She is raised Catholic by a very homophobic mother; whereas Rasha is Muslim and had been outed while still living in Aleppo (it was never made clear if this was a primary reason for her family escaping from the rule of ISIS (the term used on the show), though it is stated that it was only when they took over that she was forced to wear the hijab. She does not come out to the daughter of her hosts until the finale of S3; by which time she is in a relationship with Zoë, though it is implied they have yet to become sexual at that point.

First chance she could get Rasha was on a flight to Beirut; as close to home as she was likely ever to get again. It was hard now to recapture when Aleppo was home.

Home was Vancouver and, Zoë.

She understood why the daughter needed to tell her mother in person and Rasha knew Zoë would wait for as long as it took to get married; so that Rasha could have her family; those who accepted her, beside her at the ceremonies.

It broke Rasha's heart that Zoë would never have that.

Rasha could almost feel her mother's arms; never thought at one time she would feel that childhood warmth and safety again. She could see them; held aloft, only a couple of security checks away; wanted to fly to them.

Handing her papers and brand new Canadian passport to her Zoe hadn't even asked Why.

Of all people Zoë had understood the why and the need.

Time was; with all her past celebrity and notoriety, that Zoë might have paid for this trip. Now Rasha was breadwinner; she didn't want to contemplate that her love might never have come out.

She whispered Allah's blessings on the family who had hosted her when she got to Canada for their generosity in paying for these flights. She knew her mother would understand the love and strength that she and Zoë had gained from each other, and their friends; understand too that they were married in all but name, but only until she was by her daughter's side.

And she knew her mother would love and accept her new daughter; accepting her as her own had rejected her.

She just needed to see it in her mother's eyes; feel the enveloping acceptance of those arms she had thought lost to her.

Then she saw the smile; achingly close to tears, could repeat in unison with her mother the thanks to Allah they were both safe.

Seeing her mother so achingly close; softly saying the prayer together, gave Rasha the words she needed that said everything her mother needed to hear from her; all she'd need Rasha now knew.

She'd felt them when Zoë had simply held her as Rasha asked to be her wife.

On the same steps where she first saw her love she had spoken them; misunderstanding a never spoken question.

They could not be perfected.

“She keeps me warm.”

~

'She Keeps Me Warm by Mary Lambert'

a) This is from one piece about the song ~ The song, which is based on Lambert's own personal experience of growing up as a lesbian and trying to reconcile her life as a homosexual with her Christian faith, basically talks about the struggles of homosexuals.

https://www.songmeaningsandfacts.com/meaning-song-keeps-warm-mary-lambert/

b) The most relevant lyrics to this story are the opening lines of the first verse and the chorus ~

She says I smell like safety and home

I named both of her eyes forever and please don't go

Ch: And I can't change, even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

And I can't change, even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love

She keeps me warm, she keep me warm

and c) The lyrics over the end of the song inspired the story as a whole; particularly Rasha finding in them the words she needs for both her wife-to-be, and her mother whom she last saw when they were separated escaping Syria. ~

I'm not crying on Sundays, (Love is patient, love is kind)

I'm not crying on Sundays, (Love is patient, love is kind)

I'm not crying on Sundays, (Love is patient, love is kind)

No, (Love is patient, love is kind)

(Love is patient, love is kind)

(Love is patient, love is kind)

(Love is patient, love is kind)

(Love is patient, love is kind)

My love, my love, my love, my love

She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm

https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/3530822107859467274/

 

kerk hiraeth