Hiraeth (pronounced [hiraɪ̯θ])

     TITLE: Kashmir ~ I. Kinetic Transitions 

     AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth 

     FANDOM: Nevertheless (Soljiwan); 

     CHARACTER(s): Part One ~ Yu Na-bi/Kendra Lửa rồng (OC);

     'SHIP(s): Na-bi/OC ~ Kendra (NabiKen);

     LENGTH: 1,374;

     RATING: 15;

     SUMMARY: Almost a week before Na-bi and Bit-na are due to surprise Sol and Ji-wan at the exhibition opening seismic changes occur in Na-bi's life.

     A/N: Looking for par'mach in all the wrong places is about to become a thing of the past for a former sculpter turned talented pottery designer, and painter of landscapes in oil & watercolours, Yu Na-bi.

        I – Kinetic Translations

     Yu Na-bi turned her head; looked back the way she had come.

  The insistent beat had started up again; clearly coming from one of the rehearsal rooms she had

passed; lost, searching for the bathoom facilities.

  What was the matter with her today?

  She could read the English letters easily enough; even if the script was a little ~ artistic; all reds; purples, fuchsia edged with a sea-blue green.

  Strangely cursive.

  But why was she getting so continually lost; Bit-na's directions had been clear enough.

  She vibrated; increasingly in sync with the pulse of the beat, until a swaying greying yellow movement caught her eye; a side passage she had somehow missed.

  She could see the door frame now, opening just enough to poke around the corner; allowing the sound within freedom.

  That beat drew her forward; seem to release her from her confusion so that she found herself turning and ~ she was taking simple, ordinary steps, but the silvery white glow of a clear deep blue-black moonlit night sky pulled at her in staccato; near gutteral conversation that only her feet responded to.

  As she turned the corner it felt as if she was falling ~ floating in synchronisation with it; her heartbeat, which she had been embarrassingly aware of since the previous evening, after walking past that stunningly tall; deep blue-black star-glitter'd performance artist into the theater; situated entirely on the other side of this the college's Arts complex.

  That handsome solo artist had captured captured her mind from the moment he had taken her hand; his statuesque, almost feminine beauty; the way the glitter shone like infinitesimally tiny campfires on those almost... stone black face with features as sharply defined as the tools made by ancient Humans.

  The palms of that hand as it held hers; that spoke of someone who worked with their hands; as she did. The roughness of those palms made her focus on how working with clay had begun to smooth; not soften her own hands.

  On how sculpture had become all fierce orange-red pain; how her paintings were all deep blue; black softened by specks of yellow-red; oranges and soft creamy pastel-white...

  She felt dizzy; confused for a moment, uncertain whether she was seeing the shapes her brush strokes formed, or her hand stroking those cheeks, seeking to find a way inside those deep, deep turquoise eyes with star-formed flecks of yellow and white-gold.

  As she reached for the door handle her vision tunnelled in on the miniscule flecks of paint that seemed permanently embedded in her cuticles. Temporarily embarrassed, she also began to focus on the rough textures that still seemed, defiantly, to define her approach to her art, attempting to tear down the joy of finding colours in the slightest, most unexpected of places.

  Seeing beauty in the subtle shading of bird feathers, in the subtle almost wave-like fur of a cat; the sunlit rainbow glistening of a raindrop in the sweat on the fur covering the dark brown-orange of a horse pulling a carriage in the dry sand-white heat of a New York summer.

  “Gae-sae-kki!”

  The shock on her face when the expletive that seemed to greet Na-bi peering around the corner into the rehearsal room came not from the nakedness of the person comically attempting to prevent her far too large denim shorts from falling all the way to the floor; grip loosened by a shocked glance upward.

  Na-bi's gasp had been very loud.

  No, it came from the fact that the person staring back at her was the artist she had been so fascinated by at the theater as she seemed to call, as if a Siren to Na-bi odyssean sailor adrift on a deep clear green ocean.

  They did seem to be embarrassed, but not by their nakedness in front of a single stranger.

  Na-bi would laugh at her own thought, 'how could they be after spending nearly an hour in various degrees of nudity before an audience of nearly a hundred strangers'.

  Na-bi could never recall being shocked at the desire that rose in her; nor that she had missed; so entranced by the beauty of the artist on the stage; beating drums, slapping hands on their body; feet imitating a bird long lost to flight, so entranced that she had completely missed the scars that had nearly faded across their chest or the soft downy hair covering the very essence of femininity that glistened between their legs.

  Na-bi was very conscious that she must have resembled a koi trying to capture some air as she tried to form words; any words.

  Na-bi watched, held fast, the source of her confusion collect themselves; pulling the errant shorts up with one hand, and reaching for a dusty paint shirt with the other hand. She also found herself still conscious of that insistent beat that had brought her to this moment, making her quiver; powering movement in her legs and assisting the beat of her heart.

  Drawn forward she looked into the sea-green eyes; could see the motion of water flowing around the paths of her future.

  “I seem to have wet myself, ” they began to apologise as Na-bi came close; knelt on one knee and fastened the shorts around their waist.

  “The bucket... I... the washrooms are so... far...”

  As she was glancing down at their hands; Na-bi found it impossible to tell which were hers; which were theirs, so intertwined in her mind were they.

  Metallic purple; becoming blue, a darker; glistening blue.

  Eyes gleaming; honey, gold, green; a clear coppery-green.

  Streaks; creamy, like the foam on a coffee; patterned through hair that seemed to flow like those on a sailor's jumper; razored patterns along one side gleaming with all the shades of a rainbow.

  Someone was speaking to her. From somewhere in Na-bi's brain an impulse fired and she

re-discovered the power of speech.

  “eo... jeo... joesonghabnida?”

  A nose, broken at some time wrinkled. Teeth; jagged and a bit yellow from smoking revealed by a shining smile; lips, so pale, as if they had never known the colours of lipstick.

  They beckoned.

  Na-bi found herself smiling back, lips closed, but not pursed; amused, as if the person behind it was used to this.

  Na-bi's heart refused the lie, electrified her soul.

  White broke from the shadows. Pink glowed. Shields; polished bronze, fell as a hand grasped her, and they shook; Na-bi shook, vibrating to a sound she had not heard since, it felt, forever ago.

  Pale, bright; sky-bright blue.

  She felt her head tilt; ears trying to capture that forgotten sound.

  She wasn't laughing out loud, but she could hear the crystal clear sound all the same. That face; that smile; those lips... those lips were moving.

  “Mian haeyo... I mean, what were you saying?”

  “I'm Ken... er I said my... Nae ileum... Je ileum-eun Kendra.”

  Na-bi smiled; a cloudy day was broken by bright morning sun-bright small child falling in love with her first kitten smile.

  “Na-bi; Yu Na-bi.”

  In time she would swear she could already here Seo Ji-wan's glittering laughter; see Yun Sol's glowing smile; Bit-na's face almost expressionless, smirk as she waited for the right moment to say what she really thought of Na-bi's silliness.

  The handsome god grinned, as Na-bi held their shorts up, so they could put their shirt on, then began a soft chuckling as Na-bi pulled a soft belt from her back; shakily using it to fix the wilful garment around the too slim waist so they would not fall again.

  Her future seemed to phase around her as Na-bi sensed pathways forming; changing direction and searching for places and sights and colours she had never contemplated.

  She already knew she was lost.

   ~

  She was just as lost when she woke up the next morning, and spent fifteen peaceful minutes

staring at the sleeping features of the person she had quite forgotten never knowing.

  “Ya.”

  Kendra Lửa rồng sleepily; equally lost, awkwardly pulled her face close and kissed Na-bi.

  At that moment, Na-bi never wanted to wake up. A very tiny part of her still wondering if Bit-na had stopped waiting for her and left the cafeteria.

  But it had not awoken yet, and Na-bi was too awake to care.

  She had never felt so awake, or alive.

     I need to say here that I cannot express just how much I owe to elisi for all the support and advice she has given to me the past few years. I have written very little in terms of stories posted, but the help, with this story in particular, but in terms of encouragement an a listening ear; especially since the lockdown started, she has been about as invaluable as anyone could have possibly been. She has, in many ways, become surrogate family for me. 

    Buffy; Giles & Xander to my Tara ~ not Willow, because we aren't nearly that kind of close. 

    We have a different faith but, if the Goddess can put in a kind word of thanks for me I surely hope She is listening. 


      




 

       ps. Link # 1. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nevertheless_(TV_series) Nevertheless was based on a webtoon, which did not include the characters of Yun Sol & Seo Ji-wan, who were created for the television series. 
             Link # 2. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Perfect_Ending (image featured Rebecca (on the left), played by Barbara Niven and Paris, played by Jessica Clark from the movie, and was posted by the writer & director, Nicole Conn) 
             Link # 3. www.imdb.com/title/tt0961746/ Rome & Juliet, a movie from the Philippines, and written & directed by Connie Macatuno



    Kerk Hiraeth
    (December 24th, 2021, Perth & Kinross, Scotland)