Fics for 2021 # 003 ~ Kashmir ~ III. Suddenly Perfected Impulses

[kerk_hiraeth]

 

   TITLE: Kashmir ~ III. Suddenly Perfected Impulses

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth 

   FANDOM: Nevertheless (Soljiwan);

   CHARACTER(s): Part Three ~ Kendra Lửa rồng (OC), Yu Na-bi, Seo Ji-wan, Yun Sol;

   'SHIP(s): Yu Na-bi/Kendra Lửa rồng (OC) (NabiKen); Yun Sol/Seo Ji-wan (Soljiwan);

   LENGTH: 1,612;

   RATING: R;

   SUMMARY: The day before Yun Sol's major exhibition, outside the coffee bar where Sol is spending some brief free time with Seo Ji-wan, their friend Na-bi is unwittingly close while enjoying the sensations of her new relationship in the brightness of a New York summer.

   A/N: I feel like I am discovering this story in real-time alongside the characters. I feel like I am experiencing emotions I buried a long time ago. How successfully I am disclosing all that I don't know, but it feels good, and warming, and not a little like magic. Waiting for the cold water of reality but, for now, I am feeling good.

 

     Ken stepped slowly closer to Na-bi; carefully assessing possible sight lines, almost reaching close enough to tap her on the shoulder when she whipped around, a twinkle in her eyes and a wicked smirk on her face.

 

  And a compact mirror in her hand. They stuck their tongue out in response to the same gesture from Na-bi.

 

  “Chepo Kendra, na jakeun yonga.”

 

  Ken didn't get all of that, but they understood more of it than the y would've a week ago when they met.

  A week? Not even six whole days.

 

  Then Na-bi leant upward, and that beautiful mouth; framed by those delicate lips, kissed them on the nose; that broken nose that this siren seemed enamoured of; fascinated by.

  Always it was a kiss on their nose; then on their lips, before Ken would lift her off the ground so they could kiss Na-bi properly.

 

  Less than a week and they could barely imagine, let alone want to remember, a time when this cheonsa hionsang was not her life.

  That face, disappointments so well hidden, that drew her in ever deeper. Had her diving into depths unimaginably full of magical surprises; colours that filled a world full of previously unseen blues; deep blues and scream-bright yellows and oranges; rich life-affirming inks of reds and starkly contrasting purples, greens and turned white into shades of pale blues, silvers and creams; created glistening crystals from flat-seeming greys.

  A world that had been a simple sky-blue had become full of shadows and shifting images that would have dazzled even Van Gogh.

 

  They fantasised about lying nude in their home snows of Northern Ontario; if only for a few seconds.

  Imagined Na-bi describing the hues of white falling around, and slipping beneath them.

  Dreamed of calling out in answer to the cold ground, and even colder dark skies; speckling with tiny, glittering campfires.

 

  It was like inside the casting of a spell; not only the one they knew Na-bi had cast on them, but the one they could see in Na-bi's eyes.

  She heard laughter in her mind at that thought.

  They had never fallen into bed. Never had they been so completely naked before anyone. Never had they imagined anyone feeling the same way about them.

 

  Neither of them had even hesitated.

  Na-bi had walked into their heart and stolen it.

 

  Rehearsal was over from the moment Na-bi had pinned the errant shorts around their waist; touching their stomach, sweetly hesitant after the first, accidental touches.

  Ken had silently pulled a sweater from their gym bag, then allowed Na-bi; all in silence, to pull it down over their head, resisting the temptation to stroke Na-bi's hair. Quivered as she had tucked a tee-shirt into Ken's shorts; smoothed down the, very old; moth-eaten, sweater,

 

  They brushed their fingers over the brand new one Na-bi had bought them; glistening like a rainbow seen through microscopically thin paper.

 

  Ken had stroked Na-bi's hands, resting inside her own as if enclosed in a warm, already familiar blanket. Na-bi lifted them, looking into her eyes.

  Silently Kendra gave permission for Na-bi to stroke the only visible blemishes on the one cheek; the scar she got the same day her nose was broken.

  Na-bi freed a hand; moved it higher; paused staring into their eyes, waiting again for permission.

  They had moved their head so imperceptibly that only Na-bi could have seen the gesture. Slowly the hand stretched upward. Ken blinked again... and again... and again...

 

  “Yes, yes, yes... ne, đúng, shì de... oui, ja, ja, ja...”

 

  That night, as they lay down next to each other; Na-bi had kissed their nose. Ken had never allowed anyone to do that before.

  Never been imagined so naked in front of anyone before.

  Never been so certain; so sure, that the unknown was so desirable a thing.

 

  To have another human hand; other than a medically trained individual, touch that always visible open wound, was nothing they could have prepared themselves for.

  Nobody since their mother had died had been allowed close enough to kiss her like that; a single tear so quickly caressed away, a touch so ephemeral they had barely sensed it.

 

  Kendra could not be certain how long they had spent touching each other's faces, testing in case the other were a dream; to be taken away if they woke, before they had begun making love.

 

  At some point Kendra had grasped each of Na-bi's hands in turn and kissed each perfect set of fingers before Na-bi; uncertain, fumbling; clearly never having done this with another woman, began to make love to them.

  They had never experienced a touch so gentle. As uncertain as she was; even though she had not the language, Na-bi seemed knew instinctively she was not making love with another woman.

  Confused as she had been by Kendra's lack of breasts, she was not hesitant to touch the rapidly fading scars; once they had given their permission. Na-bi had only seemed to slow down; hesitate at all she wanted to do this right.

 

  Not even Aiyana, who had gotten closer to them than anyone, had been welcomed so completely beneath the cloaks that invisibly protected Kendra.

  And Aiyana had been her lover, her only lover, for over three years.

  Na-bi could not have known the extent to which Ken had been more nervous née scared than she was. That Aiyana had been the only one who had ever touched her naked, newly truthful chest.

  They had loved but Kendra had known that they were saying goodbye they had made love.

 

  They had both been exploring territory that was barely formed; Ken still able to feel the weight of breasts she had never felt to be real; absurdly more real now they were finally gone and, Na-bi exploring sensations she probably hadn't even conceived of.

 

  Over breakfast, nude and looking out over the skyscape of Manhattan, Kendra pointing out where the towers had been; wiping away a child's remembered tears, blissfully enamoured by Na-bi's reaction.

  As they shared Pineapple juice, Na-bi has told them about Seo Ji-wan and how blessed Na-bi had felt to be a part of her and Yun Sol's love; they had smiled as Yun Sol's embarrassed reaction at realising Na-bi had known how they felt before they did; well Seo Ji-wan for certain.

  Sometime over the following days Na-bi had related Ji-wan's yearning, bubbling over as it grew; Yun Sol's was even more desperate to free itself. Kendra, eyes focussed on Na-bi's lips had reached out and placed two fingers on them; brought them back to their own and rested them their for a whole second.

 

  That smile.

  Na-bi's smile sliced through any uncertainty which might have remained in Ken's heart.

 

  “Ise nanen algoissda.” 

  Right now the need to physically restrain themselves from kissing Na-bi all over was powerful; whither they were in the middle of a busy New York thoroughfare.

  They wanted to grasp her hand; pull her all the way beyond the Arctic Circle; and make love in the snow under the lights of the Aurora Borealis.

  Then, wherever their joined imaginations were taking them ~ Kendra could see Na-bi being pulled back from a fantasy of her own ~ they were interrupted by a young woman; she looked about the same age as Na-bi, maybe a bit younger, and just as tiny from Kendra's perspective, who was physically dragging, or so it seemed, another very handsome, and confused woman by the hand.

 

  All the time Seo Ji-wan, as Ken quickly figured, was crying out; loud enough to drown out the nearby buskers, “NA-BI! NAAA-BII!”

 

  Na-bi sighed; stroked Kendra's hand with a disarmingly wear smile, defeated in the strategy she and Bit-na had planned. Kendra could see in those eyes that Na-bi had almost forgotten why she was in New York; to surprise Yun Sol and this excited puppy of a woman at the exhibition opening the next day.

 

  She looked pleased to have been caught as Kendra had a few seconds before.

  Na-bi winked at them; gripped her hand apparently determined to leave no doubt in the minds of the two approaching women what Kendra and she meant to each other.

 

  Kendra suddenly realised she had not known she missed that sense of safety until that moment; had not felt it to be absent, but knew now it had been gone since she had been forced to accepted her mother was going to die.

 

  She let Na-bi lead her over to them and felt love wrapping itself around them, even from two people who had not known they existed before now.

 

  It was very strange.

  And very, very welcome.

 

  Then the buskers; who knew Kendra, and had seen them walking hands entwined the evening before as they had walked back to Na-bi's hotel from a meal at an African restaurant, went briefly silent; started in on some new music they clearly had not practised enough.

 

  The three young Koreans turned, delighted as they played; Kendra was told soon after, a lullaby all three of them clearly knew.

  Kendra had held a hand over their heart; gave a slight bow, returned by the latinx violinist. Na-bi had kissed her fingers and kissed Kendra's lips with them, Sol and Ji-wan turning themselves, just in time to witness the gesture.

 

  She felt an impulse to hug them and felt arms wrapped around her and felt an impulse to start kissing the smiling Na-bi as she started to hug Yun Sol and tell her all about this new person in her; their lives. 

  So perfect. 

  Ken had never felt so welcomed in their life.

 

     

   ps link - www.youtube.com/watch this is the Korean lullaby the buskers; imagining three or four; led by a violinist with a singer & other instument(alists), are doing a version of. 

    kerk hiraeth 
    (December 26th, Perth & Kinross)