Hiraeth (pronounced [hiraɪ̯θ])

  TITLE: Fools are those that believe that a smile is a sign of happiness

  AUTHOR: kerk hiraeth

  FANDOM: Transit Girls

  CHARACTER(s): Mirai Kadowaki, Nao Fukuzawa;

  'SHIP(s): Sayuri Hayama / Yui Shida,

  LENGTH: 1,000 

  A/N: Some context; Transit Girls was shown late in 2015, with the eight, and final, episode being on December 26^th. It was the first Web or TV series in Japan, which featured a lesbian couple (they are the ones named in 'SHIP(s) ) ; the characters featured in this story are Mirai, who has fallen for Nao; who has a sibling-like relationship with Sayuri (they have lived next door to each other their entire lives.

          Both have, in the context of this story, suffered heartbreak, partly as a result of the 21 year old Yui & the 18 year old Sayuri falling in love. The pair meet because Yui's mother & Sayuri's father have fallen in love. This story is about the aftermath for Mirai & Nao and is set just before xmas, just after the conclusion of the series. 

         The title is a quote by Spanish writer Paula Acedo. My unreserved gratitude goes out to 

elisi

         Here is the wikipedia page for the series en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transit_Girls & this the fanvid that introduced me to Yui & Sayuri and Transit Girls; only a couple of weeks ago I finally got to see the series www.youtube.com/watch 

 Edit: Life got in the way, but the story is now up on Ao3 archiveofourown.org/works/44160856

     Mirai imagined she saw a small shadow of pain cross Nao-kun's features as he approached; sat as she was at the same table where they had first discussed studying the problem together. 

  Today neither of them had any mind on that problem at all; both were far away in their thoughts. 
 

  For his part Nao could sense Mirai-chan seeking to hide behind an uncharacteristically heightened formality, though even around her best friend she had never been inappropriate. 

  As the friendships formed around Sayuri-san and himself, Mirai-chan too had relaxed; even taking on some of Sayuri's mischievous humour. 

  Tensing up as Sayuri came to the fore of his mind he noticed she seemed reluctant even to look at him. 

  Nao found himself saddened by this. 

  Realising he was mirroring Mirai-chan Nao forced himself to relax as he sat beside her. He was certain he failed or; having succeeded, made things worse. 

  He felt Mirai-chan's pain. 

  She felt Nao-kun's pain. 

  Mirai knew nothing now would happen between them; everyone knew that Sayuri's heart belonged to another, and only their other friend, Aoi, knew who that other was, and she had already left with her family to spend Christmas with relatives, leaving Mirai feeling isolated. 

  Mirai knew some perceived her as naïve, but she understood her friend's attraction for a woman as beautiful as Yui-chan. 

  She knew though that many would find their love shameful, and that she did not fully understand; pain had caused her to use harsh words but, at the time she had believed Sayuri was taking Nao-kun from her; embarrassing once Sayuri's true affections were confessed. 

  She did not believe her friend capable of anything shameful. 

  She only wished she had not been caught at the heart of it. 

  Because she hurt. 

  It was pain she would bear because she loved Sayuri, and found Yui-chan kind and generous; seeming distant only to people she did not know. 

  She would bear the pain of knowing that Nao-kun would never feel for her what he felt for his childhood friend; forever remaining a sibling to him. 

  Mirai would bear the pain of their sudden formality; finding his honourable treatment of her now almost as painful as his honestly stated rejection of her feelings. 

  That he would never seek to take advantage of her feelings at such a time deepened her affection; making the knowledge they would never be returned all the more painful. 

  Mirai knew she would bear it for being the cause of pain to Nao-kun by forcing him to choose between her friendship and Sayuri-chan's would be even worse. 

  Nao, knowing the pain of acceptance of Sayuri's love for Yui-chan; could see Mirai-chan's pain in the way she held herself. 

  He recalled her tears at his rejection of her; could see that her own pain was as hard for her to bear as his own was. 

  Their commonality in this would have fascinated the ancient philosophers. 

  He felt his heart wanting to reach out to comfort her, but knew instinctively this was not the proper time for such a response. 

  In such grievous unity they began studying the problem; talking; slowly and painfully formal, over what each, in their own terms, did not understand about it. 

  Then Mirai reached over as she perceived a potential solution, and froze as their hands touched; embarrassed, she looked at him for the first time, and saw an equally embarrassed expression on Nao-kun's face. 

  She actually managed a smile; making him grin even through his pain. 

  Then she witnessed a tear forming and; wishing she could kiss it away, blushed and looked down at her hands; now on her lap. 

  As were Nao-kun's. 

  “Mirai... we need to talk, “ his voice cracking. 

  As much as she felt shocked, Mirai's attention micro-focussed on a single tear; brazenly she wiped it from his cheek with her thumb. 

  Nao felt embarrassment at his emotionality; impressed at how much Mirai-chan had grown since Sayuri had confessed her feelings for Yui-chan to her. He felt more embarrassment as he sensed a maturity he had under-estimated in her. 

  Both knew that nothing would happen between them now. 

  He would accept Sayuri's love for Yui-chan; his love for she who would ever be his sister remaining unshaken and her own love for him would also fade over time. 

  It could not lessen their current pain, but nothing now could happen between them. 

  To Nao's surprise a grin crossed Mirai's face. She spoke a little shakily; trying to hide her own, unshed, tears. 

  “Perhaps we could gain easement by watching bad western movies, and listening to terrible Christmas songs?” 

  Nao released a small chuckle at Mirai's idea. 

  He suggested a movie with giant ants; she suggested stealing an album her father loved to torture his family with. 

  “A new Christmas tradition?” 

  Mirai nodded, answering him with fake intensity; saying, “I will bring root beer.” 

  Nao, pretending serious thought, responded with equally exaggerated intensity, “I will make popcorn.” 

  They both managed to laugh at the silliness, and their own embarrassment, and shook hands on the deal; recognising the beginning of a newer, stronger bond of friendship between them. 

  As painful as things would get they would be stronger on the other side because they had held each other up. 

  She still wished her love had been returned. 

  He still wished his love had been returned. 

  They would be there for Sayuri; probably for Aoi as well, who would almost inevitably return from the visit to her relatives heart broken over a boy she had been forced to leave behind; who never called. 

  They would be there for each other; helping each other through the other's heartbreak; holding their friend up when their strength threatened to fail.  

  They had friends who needed them to be strong. 

  Somewhere in their minds they were growing stronger pondering, as they tried to solve the problem they were supposed to be studying, what to get their friends as Christmas gifts. 



  Maybe, their unconscious said to them, the presents have already been given. 



  May the Goddess watch over you and those you love, 


   


  kerk hiraeth