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kerk_hiraethTITLE: The Silver Answer Rang
AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth
FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (FemaleHusband!verse)
CHARACTERS: Faith Lehane; Tara Maclay; Buffy Summers;
'SHIP(s): Faith/Tara; Buffy/Angel;
LENGTH: 200;
RATING: R (for strong language);
A/N: Set in the FemaleHusband!verse (centred around a Faith/Tara relationship); this may be the start of a new series within that 'verse.
The idea for this began in another fandom altogether; another poet too. My mind was on a Korean web series called She Makes My Heart Flutter released in November; also on the characters of Yun Sol & Seo Ji-wan and their friends Yu Na-bi & Oh Bit-na, from another Korean series, Nevertheless.
Most of the story in the former takes place in a bar named after Emily Dickinson, but the original thought; which will likely inspire stories, evolved into stories inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese.
There's always been the thought behind this 'verse that; even though Faith & Tara become lovers; then a couple, that Faith does not see herself as a lesbian; neither does Tara. I've always wanted to explore that idea and now; finally, that may be coming to pass. Only time will tell on that, but both the title of this story, and the overall title of the series; should that happen, come from the first of the sonnets ~ a copy of which Angel gave Buffy as a gift in Helpless.
Faith often wondered why, after she and Tara had become lovers; not friends or guarded and guard bitch, she still got creamy over dick.
For fuck's sake; she'd teased 'B' enough times!
But always ~ Always! ~ she'd needed to go out and fuck some piece of ass until he was barely able to function.
She even thought of dick when she and Tara were fucking.
Even now her brain would flood over some dick she'd fucked back in the day.
Back in the day...
She'd been barely a kid herself; fucking with girls to get some dick hard.
And Tara was all woman.
All woman.
Stamina she had too; strapping Faith, a Slayer, until she herself could barely function.
And what Tara could do with her...
Fucking witchcraft was what it was.
And yet.
And yet...
She never got wet over other women.
Not even 'B' got her creaming.
She never used toys.
Always the real thing.
Only what was the real thing anyway?
She wasn't sure anymore, but still got wet over dick; not pussy.
Something 'B' had said came to mind.
'Guess now who holds thee?
Death, I said.
But then the silver answer rang,
Not Death, but Love.'
from Sonnets from the Portuguese (1845-6)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
one
I thought once how Theocritus had sung
Of the sweet years, the dear and wished-for years,
Who each one in a gracious hand appears
To bear a gift for mortals, old or young;
And, as I mused it in his antique tongue,
I saw, in gradual vision through my tears,
The sweet, sad years, the melancholy years,
Those of my own life, who by turns had flung
A shadow across me. Straightway I was 'ware,
So weeping, how a mystic Shape did move
Behind me, and drew me backward by the hair,
And a voice said in mastery while I strove,
Guess now who holds thee? - Death I said. But, there
The silver answer rang: Not Death, but Love.
May the Goddess watch over you, and those you love,
kerk hiraeth
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 02:42 am (UTC)Fucking witchcraft was what it was."
Just beautiful.
So glad you're writing again!
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 03:29 am (UTC)Exhibit A? The second half of that.
Thank you,
kerk
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 01:52 pm (UTC)And the conundrum, interestingly, reminds me of Ianto's 'confession' (not sure there is a better word) about his relationship with Capt Jack, and rejecting the 'gay' label:
“It's not men - it's just him. It's only him.”
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 02:20 pm (UTC)kerk
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 12:45 am (UTC)That last line may well turn up again; first time I looked at that poem and began thinking of stories it was in connection to another character, Buffy, in another 'verse. That idea is on the backburner right now, because of two very important OC's I really need to do more research for; also find better resources for translating than google offers.
But the theme is very similar; though expressed very differently.
I'm not sure Faith has ever had a relationship with a man that wasn't couched in sexual terms; even Giles; Wesley & The Mayor. Robin Wood; in TV canon, is probably the closest she ever came. He's not appeared in this 'verse, but he's around; just not in Faith's life. There is a man in this 'verse that does play that role, but much later in the timeline of this 'verse; he's in two of the seven stories I've written in the relish series; which I dearly want to finish.
So far this poem has inspired ideas for at least four; maybe more stories. The rambling idea I was working on in the afternoon when I started writing this was very different, but those last four lines were playing through my head the whole time; almost as if I was listening to music to inspire the story. Faith didn't appear at all then, when I began writing an actual story it was all her.
It's quite remarkable that I thought at one time that I would never be able to write Tara as a character, but there in the background all the time was the Key (pun intended) to unlocking both characters for me.
Their whole story; or stories, are about connecting to life. In one 'verse; Faith finds that connection through forgiveness; another via silliness and fun, and in this one via love from a source she would never have looked for it.
Not that I think she was looking; up to the point she and Tara meet; really meet, for the first time I really don't believe Faith even thought Love existed or, if it did, she deserved it. I think she had a relationship with men only in terms of how she could use them before they used her.
I'll point you to some of the earlier stories in this 'verse (in terms of when they were written) at some point, that might provide more context for this one.
kerk